IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE! it's the first time ever in the 4 years i've lived here (i'm home for the post-LSAT weekend) that the snow actually seems to be sticking. it's so wonderful and beautiful--the perfect consolation to my months of hardship.

so happy right now. i'm not even all that fazed at the prospect of being stranded here for a while. :)

so...that wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. i'm being cautiously optimistic. i don't want to jinx it or anything.. anyway, i can just cross my fingers and pray now. results come out january fourth.

i'm really, genuinely trying not to freak out right now.

leaving for church soon. i'm leaving it up to God. kayo na po bahala sa akin. c:

one day left. i'm trying to be as chill about this as possible.

i can do this.

i can do this.

i can do this.

i gots this.

prayers, please. :)

ok so...2 days ago (Sunday) I was soooo happy because my score went up by like 6 points from a 158 to a 164.

But today..my score went down 10 points, and I'm at a 154 right now. Which is about where I was 3 whole months ago.

Wtf I want to die. Like seriously. That is...five million kinds of fucked up.

3 days before the LSAT..and I have Korean finals every single day til then.

What the fuck.

let me pretend that my life is somewhat normal at this point in time just to say that I can't wait for February to come around so i can see this movie:


WOOOOT!

ok, final paper time.

i have 5 days left til the LSAT. i have a final paper due on tuesday. i have korean finals throughout the week aaaand...i'm dying.

if you're even the slightest bit spiritual/religious, please pray for me.

"My girlfriend hasn't had her period since she got pregnant. Do you think the baby is drinking the blood?"

LOL!

This is the most legit question I've ever seen on Yahoo! Answers. Ever.

It made my day. Thanks, Yili. <3

it's amazing how homesick i can get when under stress.

home has increasingly become a figure of escape and refuge for me ever since moving out.

oh, i can't wait for thanksgiving break. even if i'll be spending it with writing my final papers, studying for korean finals and studying for the lsat.

break in 3 days! lsat in 12! aaaaaaahhh!

---

ediiiit:

post-colonial cinema homework should die. seriously. i do not care right now. if i had a little bit of my high school self in me right now, i wouldn't even bother with it. but nooooo. stupid, grade-conscious side of me has taken over, despite my great, immense, massive disdain for this thing. seriously. D-i-e....please.

ahk! why am i so irresponsible!????!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! this is the week prior to THE week! i should be at the top of my game!

am on campus now. i got stranded for a little bit in between Wheeler Hall and Dwinelle because the picket people wouldn't let anyone else pass through. the protest was great and i supported it for a while before i left to try and study for lsat...which is 2 weeks away by tomorrow.

i loved the protest...until they blocked my access to the libraries.

really, protesters. i understand, and am all for your cause. but blocking Doe and Moffitt Libraries?? If you're trying to preserve the education of the students, won't you even consider students like myself who have shit to study for?

By all means, take over Wheeler and any other building on campus. but don't block the friggin' library. especially not Doe and Moffitt. it's almost finals week, people! students are crazy enough as it is.

thank God the East Asian Library is open. and it's...kind of quiet. though i can still hear the mad drumming from the protest. lsat time. i am noooot getting out of here until at least 6. 4 hours of lsat go go go!

Apparently everything is going nuts on campus.



i totally, totally support the strike and all...but i really wish the chaos didn't all boil down to today. stupid Regents. if they only voted against the stupid increases i wouldn't be in this mess. sigh. To go or not to go to office hours? are office hours still in session, even? but i neeeeeed to talk about my final paper and thesiiiiis!!

so i've just decided that i'm too ambitious for my own good. and i think maybe it's time i accept that i may have to just settle.

sigh.

Later today is probably going to be crazy. I wonder how many picket lines I'm going to have to wade through to get to campus. Probably not attending class, and I'm considering picketing myself, or at least joining in the rally. But there are more pressing, personal issues I have to deal with too--the LSAT, as usual. So. to picket or to study for the LSAT? and I'm so lost in my Film Theory class too, but I don't want to be the apathetic senior just because I'm graduating. After all, a ton of people I know are going to be here for the 32% fee hike. Ouch, just writing it down is painful.

Regents! Get off your high horse and vote to not increase fees, damnit! Or the Berkeley student body might just go Free Speech Movement ala 1960s on your rich, fat asses!

---

Got a 157 on the LSAT practice test again. My tendency to plateau is astounding. I'm almost to the point of not caring now. If I don't get in to at least Hastings or Boalt this year, then fuckit, I'll take it again another time. Like, when I'm not swamped by my academic obligations. I try to keep telling myself that there's no need to rush. Average age for law school noobs is 24, after all. I got time. (Repeat like a mantra until this sticks: THERE IS NO NEED TO RUSH!)

Post practice test though we headed over to Zoe's to feast on S'mores and Hot Cocoa. A fantastic end to a cruel day. Too bad we couldn't see the Leonid Meteor Shower from her rooftop though. Stupid rain.

watching a free advance screening of Werner Herzog's remake of Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans tomorrow. just from the trailer alone, i think this might be Nick Cage's comeback movie. but it's at the same time as my Film Theory class' screening of Being John Malkovich. so heee! tomorrow will be yet another not-so-responsible day for me. (hopefully) fun, but i should really be studying for the lsat.

just found out that i'm no longer eligible to vote in the Philippines. feeling a bit down because i never had the chance to do that. i'm in some kind of voting limbo. i can't vote there nor here (unless it's the local/state election). i siiigh.

hah. i have like zero representation.

so instead of supposedly studying for the LSAT at the Naia Lounge, I've taken to looking up stuff on youtube, and I found this video by two of the Filipino kids that I went to Jack-in-the-Box with once. I never knew they were such awesome singers. And Bryan was so cuuute here. :)

The song starts about a 50 seconds in. It's freaking awesome. Shout out to Certee in particular. Type mo din to. hahahaha :D

i swore i'd try not to complain in here anymore, but right now i'm so tired i feel like i'm going to faint. which is not good, considering that i'm in a public lounge. i missed class this morning because i overslept after working on korean homework til 3 am. and i didn't even get to submit it because that was exactly the class i missed. and i have a jhorror paper due tomorrow and i have no idea what i'm going to write about. and now i'm feeling a little bit too out of it to get home and i'm just going to wait it out and hope that the nausea passes.

---

edit:
so the nausea did pass and now i'm in my apartment. but i still dont know what to write for my jhorror paper. i can feel my gpa slipping and it's beginning to really scare me. i've been working on getting internships so much that i've neglected to do anything lsat related or do any reading for my classes this week. what am i doing with my liiiiiiife. please i just want this semester to end.

the people trying to get into this internship are... RIDICULOUS.

reading their bios makes me feel ashamed at my complete lack of awesomeness.

POR QUEEEEE

so i never thought it would take a million years to make a resume. i've probably been at it for a total of 8 hours now, and it's still not completely done. also, i'm in the process of writing 3 essays for this internship position in DC for the summer...and i find it kind of disturbing how i can't figure out what i want to write about for the first question:

Identify an issue or field which you are passionate and explain how working in Washington, DC would complement your work on that issue.

ummm... ok. so i want to write about film. and i want to write about something to do with law. and i don't exactly know how to do that. because while i could write about representations of law in films, or issues entertainment law, they're not things that i'm passionate about..and i don't want to completely BS myself into this internship. que sera, sera, i guess.

and for next semester i really want to intern at the International Rescue Committee and the East Bay Sanctuary Covenant, both dealing with refugees and asylum-seekers. i probably should keep working on my application though. seems like a lot of people are trying to get into the latter one especially. i just want to scream out and be like, "take me, take me! I'll be useful, i swear!" D:

on other news, this is probably the longest time i've ever sat in a restaurant by myself. doing work and such. i think i should do this more often. got a bunch of work done woooot! (though still not as much as i could've..but oh well!)

got a 157 on my practice lsat! there is hope!! xD

also, trick-or-treat-ing was fun this halloween. got a ton of candy. methinks i'm all set until finals. hahaha. i dressed up as a cowgirl because i didn't have the time to get a derby hat and a white button down for my Annie Hall idea. very spur of the moment. all i had that was actually mine was the skirt, the shades, and the black cami. the shirt is johncis', the hat and belt are trina's, and the boots are nicole's. it worked out in the end though. i looked like a female Johnny Knoxville rendition of a cowpoke. mostly because of the sunglasses. geeeez. they were all of 19 bucks at Urban Outfitters, but now I think they were weeeeell worth it. <3





if there were any sort of award though, nicole would get it. that kimono was intense!

overall, a very very good day. <3